Can I get an Amen?!

I don’t go to Church but I sure as hell appreciate people who do.

I like the idea of people from the same community coming together to share a common bond.  One could argue that people attend sporting events or get drunk at bars for this very reason, and I’m not totally disagreeing with this. However, the fact that people rise up early on Sunday Funday, shower, put themselves together, navigate through parking lot traffic and sit somewhere for at least an hour without beverages or snacks all in the goal of doing something good is a miracle in and of itself.

I know many people are against organized religion. With the Duggars and Billy Grahams of the world and extremist, it’s certainly understandable why one would not support any kind of  religion. Some of the kindest most charitable people I know only use the Lord’s name when they’re angry and a damn is always involved.  Still, though, religion gives us so many great things. Without it we wouldn’t have Judy Blume’s Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret or Jesus Christ the Superstar with Ted Neely. Hottest Jesus ever.

I believe in God but also the power of the Universe, so I truly people that thousands of people coming together, half of them with positive thoughts (while the other half is doing anything from balancing their bank accounts to coveting thy wife’s neighbor) is really doing something for the collective whole. Some people go above and beyond and attend the pancake breakfast after mass – or the sermon – and participate in charity events.

I myself am too lazy and unmotivated to go to church. It’s just the plain truth. I also blame some of it on being single. Even though church is supposed to be all about love, respect and acceptance (and some really are this way), I feel so uncomfortable sitting in a pew by myself.  Also, I’m a bit of brat and feel that I have a credit with God since I attended Catholic school for years. Therefore, I probably don’t really need to go to mass (or church as some call it) until I’m 50. I also say few Hail Mary’s every now and then.

But a big Amen  to those of you who get it together and go to church every week. An Amen and Halleluiah to those of you who practice the Golden Rule and accept people for who they are. I like to ask myself, “What would Jesus do?” and I feel that by following this advice about 80%  of the time, I have a 50/50 chance of  getting into Heaven.

My Favorite Game Show

It’s sad that I know more about Bachelor Nation than I do about our American nation. I just can’t help myself, I love the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. It’s my favorite game show. I’m so tired of people posting hateful real-life messages on the contestants’ social media sites. No other athlete, poker player or talent show contestant is picked on as much as these skinny, waxy  people trying to find love, or start jumpstart their career in Hollywood.

Life is challenging and I need a little escape via TV. Just let these people get drunk and sleep around if it makes them, and me, feel better.

Vacation Photos

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT look at vacation photos until you’ve returned home and you’re sitting on the couch wearing pants with an elastic waistband. In fact, wait until January 1st or 2nd to look at your travel photos, even if you went out of town in July. It’ll be leggin’ and elastic-waist pant season and many gyms will have New Year specials at this time.  By following these guidelines you’ll be in a better place, mentally speaking, when you see your bare flesh, with the 2 pm sun shining down on it, making your pale undefined thighs look even whiter than they are. You may truly mistake yourself for a ghost on the beach until you remember that in almost every horror film you ever saw ghosts can’t appear in pictures.

I reviewed a photo my boyfriend took of me on the beach minutes after it was taken. If you’re like me, in this photo all you’d focus on is your body.  All of a sudden the clear blue Caribbean water became a polluted canal. The Pina Colada on the little bamboo table tasted like a slushy from 7-11.  And the palm trees might blowing in the wind looked like roots. I immediately forgot about the joy I felt minutes earlier when I was walking in the ocean.

Most days I usually feel okay about my body. Sometimes I feel great about it. I work out a little bit to try to stay healthy but don’t participate in Cross-Fit or other extreme workouts because I’m not an Olympian and don’t think I’ll have to fight in a Gladiator Pit anytime soon. However, after seeing myself in a bathing suit from such an objective distance, it truly dampered the rest of my vacation a little bit. I tried to forget about the fact that my body did not look exactly as I had wanted it to, that my weight was still okay. However, every time I ordered another drink or Calamari, I felt a bit guilty. These thoughts were probably good on the budget since I really did start to drink and eat less the last 48 hours of my vacation in the British Virgin Islands.

I still had an amazing time on my vacation my with my loving boyfriend, who accepted my weight and loved me for me, but weight obsessed thoughts were always in the back of my mind the rest of this trip.

I’m convinced, though, that if I had waited until the cold, snowy, post-holiday season, these photos would have still upset me, but not as much. I probably would have been able to focus on the beauty of the beach and how warm and clear the water was. I’d probably go out and buy some Pina Colada or Daquri mix and throw myself a little tropical party. I’d think, hmm, I don’t look like a swimsuit model in this photo, but that’s okay, I have time to exercise and define my thighs. I’d even book a trip to the beach in the spring and have a whole new goal to work on for the new year.