HIRE ME

Other than a broken heart, out of all the main stream problems in life, looking for a job — a real one — is the worse thing in the world. It is frustrating, disheartening and causes carpal tunnel syndrome.  I’ve thought about more productive ways of searching for employment other than spending an hour per generic application that asks me to repeat everything on my resume.

1.  Just make thousands of copies of my resumes and place them around the city, on bathroom doors, phone polls, under windshield wipers.

2. Put my shortened version of my resume on a billboard. Of course, if I could afford to do that, then I wouldn’t need to work.

3. Learn how to speak Russian and become a mail order bride.

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